Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as motivation for them to learn to relate in healthy and loving ways.  However, when we are driven by shame, we don't just fear losing a relationship, but we live in terror that if we let anyone really get to know us, we would never be desired,  pursued, or loved. In us, that fear can be worked out in the development of unhealthy denial, workaholism, perfectionism, chameleon-type behavior, and sadly, even revictimization.. When we live in denial or present a false self out of fear.. we will do anything to be accepted by people.. When we begin to tell the truth about what happened to us we also begin the process of turning about from this type of idolatry.. When we begin to tear away our layers of illegitimate shame.. When our own vision is not distorted by our shame we can discern what was our responsibility and what wasn't. . Wendy J. Mahill
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  3. Soul, if you want to learn secrets, 
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  4. I want to drag knives over my skin, just to feel something other than shame, but I'm not even brave enough for that - Paula Hawkins
  5. The mistake ninety-nine percent of humanity made, as far as Fats could see, was being ashamed of what they were; lying about it, trying to be somebody else. - J.k. Rowling
More Quotes By Wendy J. Mahill
  1. Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as motivation for them to learn to relate in healthy and loving ways.  However, when we are driven by shame, we don't just fear losing a relationship, but we...
  2. Shame evokes anxiety about what will happen if someone really knows is, but, because it is impossible to for anxiety and anger to be felt simultaneously, we can dream our anxiety by employing anger or rage in the form of contempt... Contempt, because it feels...
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